I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
