I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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