this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
