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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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• (979): View more from Texas

  i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.

  (903): View more from Texas

  wow. i have no words.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Totally get that.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.

  (917): View more from New York City

  So many issues. You honestly need help.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!

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• (646): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?

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• (394): View more from

  Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.

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• (209): View more from California

  I think i got beer on your cat.

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