I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
this just has baby written all over it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
