it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
