Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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