pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
