He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I have post one night stand depression
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