Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
