Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
