Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
her vagine was all disorganized.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
