I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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