The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
