the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
