remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
