Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
