I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
