Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
