pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
