So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
