do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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