apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
