I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
