I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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