Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
