I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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