Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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