i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
