maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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