I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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