I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
