that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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