3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I need a beard to bite.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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