She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How does one acquire holy water?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
