you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
