you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
