U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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