i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
