Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
