can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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