are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
