Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize