i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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