And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
