I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
