saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
