Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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