I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
