I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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