did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
