Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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