Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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