I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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