You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
