I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
