He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
