he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
