I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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