Where are you?
In a non slutty way
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize