Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
