She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
