He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
