so that wasnt chicken after all
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
