He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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